Tag Archives: uplift

The journey to loving myself: Part 4 – Fear Factor

Please begin with :  Part 1  ; Part 2  ; Part 3 

jimmy at 6 flaGS

“What the hell are you so afraid of?”

“What are you talking about? You know I don’t operate out of fe…..a……….r”

I couldn’t even finish the word fear before my mind was flooded with fear.

“Omgosh! I am completely afraid of losing everything…” 

At first, when my friend asked me that question, I was almost insulted. You see, fear was not a factor for me in the early years of owning my own businesses; and because of this, my response to her question was automatic. For all of the previous 14 years in business I was so used to operating without (much) fear, I didn’t seem to recognize it as it crept into and took over my life… and my business!

How did I not see this happening?

I should know better. I learned how to purposefully manifest in the mid 1990’s and I had been using this knowledge to create some amazing results in both my businesses and my life. And one of the key elements in manifesting purposefully is to recognize and face your fears; but how quickly I forgot.

Fear is a sneaky little devil… and very often your ego is not your best friend.

Basically, unbeknownst to me, my hidden fears were shaping my reality. At that moment I was staring down the fiery throat of my deepest, darkest fears… and they were about to come true!

Since my business was crashing and burning around me, it became impossible to pay myself. I eventually fell several months behind on both my house and car payments. I was in the process of losing my business, that was a reality, and soon to follow would be my car and, heaven forbid, my home.  If I lost the house, there would have been no way to keep my entire large family of rescue animals together. These animals have become my children and my love for them is immense – they are my family.

Over the years I have learned a lot about fear (and in this case, I was about to learn more). Fear is basically “False Evidence/Expectations Appearing Real”. It is a perceived idea of something that could happen, and you expect that it might happen, though it has not yet become part of your current reality –  thus it is false evidence appearing as real. It is not real because it is not actually a part of your current reality.  

At the moment one of your false expectations begins to actually manifest into your life, it is no longer a fear – it has crossed over into your reality. So yes, just as dreams can come true, so also can fears.

One such example of a fear crossing over into my reality was the collapsing of the business beneath my feet. That, my friends, had become a reality. Losing the house and the car were well on their way to happening, but at that moment in time the house and car were still in my possession. Luckily for me the losing of the house and car were still just in the fear stage.

The day when I realized that I was encased in a deep well of my darkest fears, I was very pissed off at myself for letting it happen. That evening, when I went on my walk, I began to call forth my fears.

“OK. What am I afraid of?” 

One by one my fears came to me. As one would pop into my head, I would ask what I needed to learn from it, I then thanked it for what it came to teach me and I sent it off.  I am not saying these fears magically disappeared, though I was purposefully releasing them from my current thoughts. I do believe that during that walk, some of those fears dissipated into nothing once I began to look at them individually and see that they were simply false evidence. And some of them were deep fears that may always stay somewhere within me, though now much closer to the surface where I could monitor them. I knew that if my fears remained in the dark they would forever rule me. This process of looking at my fears seems to remove much of their power over me.

I knew that as long as they were still in the fear stage and not the reality stage, I had a much better chance.

What I have come to know in my own life experience about my thoughts (my fears or my dreams) – they will only cross over into my reality if I continue to feed them enough expectant energy. And when I say feed them, I simply mean thinking about them, and expending emotion while thinking about them. The more intense the energy with which I think of and expect something to happen, the greater the energy I am feeding this thought into becoming my reality.

As I have in the past with bringing my dreams into reality, I knew that I needed to direct my thoughts, expectations and emotions in the direction I wanted to go… rather than remain focused upon the current mess I was in.

If I do not purposefully give myself a new reality to focus upon, I will not be able to stop my brain from thinking about the fear. So, just as I have written business plans in my past, I began writing down my new reality; and the trick for me was/is to write it in the present moment, as if it is already in my reality. I would then spend as much time imagining this reality and begin feeling it as if it was actually there. Isn’t this exactly what I did, with great passion, to create the businesses and my past successes?

Don’t feed any idea you don’t want to see sitting on top of your plate staring back at you. Feed only the ideas you want to see grow.  

I also have learned that this is a process that can take some time. It doesn’t always take a long time, though I am sometimes a slow learner. When you are as deep in the well as I was, it wasn’t as simple as choosing new thoughts, adding instant passion and presto! My passion for the new reality had to build and grow to become greater than the energy that created my current situation. Here in lies the challenge. I was now learning how to manifest in the face of my greatest fears and having to do so during the lowest point in my life – when I didn’t even have the fortitude to turn on my computer. I figured it would be a long haul, though I was determined to keep moving forward to change my current situation. In the months that followed I was able to sell off enough of my personal items to get current on the house and car, and yes, my family stayed together. The entire process of getting myself to the point where I could honestly say “I am living in the most peaceful stage of my life” took approximately 5 years.

The exciting part in all of this is that it was my thoughts, my expectations and my choices that got me into my mess. I use the word exciting because I could also do the same to get me out of my mess. I could choose new thoughts to create the reality of my choice. And guess who has control over my chosen thoughts? Yep, you guessed it. Me.

So,

  1. if my thoughts create my reality…
  2. and, I have full command to chosen ANY thought…
  3. that puts me in the command seat – my reality is my choice.

This is the power of creating consciously.

What happens when we create unconsciously? (Hint: start at the beginning of this post.)

I’ll explain more in Part 5.

To be continued…

To receive an email when I add posts to my journal, please find the FOLLOW tab on this site.

thank you for reading!

peace, love, Jimmy

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under Insights, Jimmy's Spiritual Journey, My Journey, Tools

The journey to loving myself: Part 3 – My Dark Period

Please begin with: Part 1 ;  Part 2

“I think it is time we begin to see other people…”

My first reaction was, “Do we have to do this now… when my business is collapsing beneath my feet?” I cannot remember if I said this out loud or just in my head, but I said it nonetheless. The time was in the early months of 2008, soon after the big crash of the US economy.

Even though the 14.5 year relationship that was ending was probably about 4.5 years past its expiration date, it was the only thing that was consistent in my life. Less than three years prior, in 2005, I walked away from a company I created and built to a moderate success.

In 2005, exactly 5.5 weeks after walking awayI put together a new company and started all over from scratch. Needless to say, these were tumultuous years, but nothing like what I was about to experience beginning in those early months of 2008. The ground beneath my feet was shifting so quickly I am not sure that I was actually standing; and it didn’t stop shifting for another four years.

My friends have called this my Dark Period. Those four years were the most difficult of my entire life. Though, I am now very thankful for those years, because if things hadn’t happened as they did I would not have found the peace and true happiness that I am now experiencing. For me, it was all worth it.

In January of 2008 as the economy collapsed, so followed my business. Somehow, without any funding, I kept the company afloat with sheer determination and the will to not give up. I remember saying, “They will have to pry this company out of my dead bleeding hands…” and they nearly did.

By mid 2008, when it was obvious that we were not recovering from the crash, I had to begin laying off my staff one by one until it was just me and one other person. By 2009 we had moved out of our beautiful new offices and into my home office. That one employee I had left, Maggie, ran my office until the end of 2010 and worked several months with neither a paycheck nor a complaint. I had stopped paying myself back in the early months of 2008. From 2009-2010 I made, packed and shipped all of my candles by myself (with occasional part-time help). The warehouse I was forced to use as my production facility had no air-conditioning or proper ventilation. Temperatures inside would reach around 120 with all the wax melters running during the Texas summers. I was often working 6-7 days a week and not taking care of my health. My eating habits turned into (I’m now horrified to say this) what I could afford on the dollar menu at fast food restaurants. I was killing myself with my work load, the working conditions,  the stress of my mounting debt and my dollar menu diet. I don’t remember having much if any joy in my life…

Since I had stopped paying myself in 2008, I had no money left and no more room on credit cards by early 2010. Some of my greatest fears were coming true. I was so behind on my car payment that I began to park down the block so the repo men wouldn’t find it. I was also several months behind on the house mortgage and received a notice that if I didn’t make a payment that month, they were going to begin the foreclosure process. Adding to the pressure of this, I had been a rescuer of animals for over 15 years at that point and had a house and yard full of animals that depended upon me. They were my family. If I lost the house, there would have been no way for me to keep my family of animals together. I was on the verge of losing EVERYTHING.

By 2011 I was nearly dead; physically, emotionally and spiritually. In order to save the house and keep food for my dogs, I had to sell off many of my personal belongins, including my prized possessions, my Big Boy statues.

IMG_0743

Bye-bye BIG BOYS!

 In 2011 I received some reprieve when I licensed my candle brand to another company. This removed the daily stress of making and shipping candles off my plate, though it still left me with no income. I applied at every job I could think of, though no one seemed to want to hire someone who had been an entrepreneur for the past 20+ years. I literally was starving. Any money I could scrap up went into keeping the roof over my head, my car on the road and food for my animals. I had no spare money for anything.

I learned how to live on $5 a week from a friend. He told me about the real Mexican grocery stores, the ones where all the signs are in Spanish, and how they would always have some sort of (unidentifiable) meat on sale for $0.99 per pound. I would go there and buy $5 worth and live on it for a week. I would cook the hell out of it on my George Foreman Grill to kill anything that could possibly kill me. If I was lucky a friend would give me some barbecue sauce to make it, whatever it was, tolerable.  Yes, I am serious, I was that poor. The only time I saw a vegetable is when Maggie would invite me over to eat.

During this time I was rather lucky that my dogs had relatively good health and did not require much… if they had, I would not have been able to afford taking them to the vet. There were only a couple of events that happened where I had to turn my kitchen into a triage unit and emergency room. I saved one of my special needs puppies life with a chip clip when one of the other dogs ate 3/4’s of her IMG_0825IMG_0972ear off. That is a long

story, but she lived.  

Hippity Hop in the emergency room (my kithen) and her bi-level look afterwards.

I am usually a very social person, and by the spring of 2011 I had been living as a complete hermit for a few years. My dogs had heard all of my jokes and when they began to recite my punchlines back to me, in unison, I knew it was time to get out of the house and become social again – with humans. Who would have thought that a visit to The Round Up, a Country & Western Saloon and Dancehall, would change the course of my life forever?

To be continued. Part 4 (click here)

If you would like to receive an email every time I add a post, please find the FOLLOW tab on this site.

thanks for reading!

Jimmy

4 Comments

Filed under Insights, My Journey

The journey to loving myself: Part 1

The dropping of the H-Bomb.

As I stood there, my mind exploded with images of how great I would look in my new clothing as I strutted down the hallway, flashing people the peace sign, on my way to my classroom on that first day of school. Every head would turn and gasp in awe of my grooviness!

My dream had finally come true!

Before me stood rack after groovy rack of the most spectacular clothing I have ever seen in person. And they were mine for the choosing! This clothing was every bit as exciting as I imagined possible from what I had seen on TV, especially The Jim Nabors Hour. That Gomer Pyle could sing and he wore the coolest clothes.

Because we were the poor preacher’s kids, the Muirhead’s (members of our church when my dad preached in Dearborn, who owned a very high end department store) invited us to come to their store and each pick out 2-3 outfits before school started. Dreamy-eyed and jumping for joy (in my head), I stood in awe with my mom in the Boy’s Clothing department at the opulent Muirhead’s Department Store in Dearborn Michigan. 

As I stood there contemplating which of these wonderful outfits I would try on first I heard something through the purple haze of my glory… 

“Excuse me ma’am…”

                                      “Mom! Isn’t this clothing amazzz………..”

 “… you seem to be in the wrong section…” 

(audible screeching halt)

                          “What?!” 

I snapped my head around just in time to witness as this very tall, very well dressed sales woman (yes, that is what we used to call them) paused just long enough to look over her shoulders, in either direction. I guess she was checking to see if the coast was clear for what she was about to do.

“Ahem, you see ma’am, this section is for…  slim boys

Then, in a tone as if she was speaking of a horrible and unthinkable disease, and ever so slightly more maliciously, as if she knew she was about to drop the H-bomb on a little boys heart, she uttered,

“… your boy is…     obviously,      HUSKY.” 

 

As the mushroom cloud was forming above my head, and before I could completely comprehend what exactly just happened, she flipped and turned to lead us to the department especially assigned for my “type”.

I remember vividly taking the long walk of shame to the dark, rear corner of the boys department as I was placed in front of the ugliest rack of beige clothing I have ever seen.

The letters of the sign hanging over the one, singularly sad rack of clothing, designed especially for fat little boys like me, simply read for the entire world to see, in big fat, chunky bold letters – HUSKY BOYS.

 

My life was over.

                                              “HUSKY?!?!

                                                           “obviously!?!?

It was official. At 11:28 am on August 11th, in the year 1971, at the age of 7:

I was fat unlovable…and obviously not worthy of groovy clothing.

 

This moment in time forged the basis for my self image that would follow me for the rest of my life into adulthood.  

…to be continued.  (click here for part 2)

To receive emails as I continue this story, please find the FOLLOW tab on this site and you will receive emails whenever I post.

4 Comments

Filed under My Journey

My Great Awakening!

Hello my name is Jimmy Belasco. This section gives details about my spiritual journey. I detail the events that lead me to realize my purpose in life is to inspire people to re-connect with their love and their peace.

WARNING: This section is NOT for the spiritually closed minded.

I came to this “knowing” on October 17, 1997 during an experience I call “My Great Awakening!” (I go into the details below) I call it that because it was as if prior to this experience I was in a coma – and after it, my eyes were wide open! During the events of My Great Awakening I realized that I would someday play the role of the teacher. And because the greatest teachers in my life taught me from the experiences of their own lives – I knew I wanted to teach from experiential knowledge – from my own life’s experiences. It was then that I acknowledged the fact that I must first accept my role as the student.

Little did I know at the time that I had just enrolled myself into an advanced level program at The University of Kick the Living @#%& Out of You and See if You Can Get Back Up. Apparently, they had a campus right here in Dallas Texas – and I had signed up to receive a PhD!

Though I have had some great successes in my life, I have also had some, lets say, GREAT NON-SUCCESSES. I have lost everything – several times. I watched 3 of my businesses (my babies, as I used to refer to them), some of which were very successful, and a 14.5 year relationship (among other things) get washed away in the storms of my life. Because of what I had learned up to those points in my life, I did NOT experience the panic, the devastation nor the suffering that usually accompany such life events. I spell all of this out in the section: THE ART OF LOSING EVERYTHING.

It is from my greatest loses – that I received my greatest gains. Isn’t it funny how that works? And it is during these great times of loss that I was the student and I acquired the knowledge I would need some day to be the teacher.

When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the teacher is ready, the student appears.

My intent and desire is that there is something I learned upon my journey that might help someone or a bunch of someones upon their journeys.

If you have a weak stomach for matters of a spiritual nature, I would suggest that you skip this next part. If this is the case, there is so much you can learn from other aspects of my teachings, maybe you should start with: The Art of Losing Everything or watch some of my videos on JimmyTV.

peace… love, jimmy

My GREAT AWAKENING!

I grew up as a preacher’s kid. The church where my dad preached was so conservative, we thought the Baptists were LIBERALS! I have often described our church to others as this: “Head on down to the Southern Baptists and hang a HARD RIGHT…. and you’re ALMOST THERE!” And even though my dad wasn’t very narrow minded spiritually, I was surrounded by people in the church who were.

I cannot say that I ever had a true, moving spiritual moment in my life up to the date of October 17, 1997. In fact, in the years leading up to that date I was feeling as disconnected and as far away from anything spiritual as possible.

I had always believed that there was a GOD. I had seen the beauty in life and knew there had to be some kind of mastermind behind all of this. Though the GOD that was taught to me in Sunday School, just didn’t seem to resound within me. I often heard responses to my questions from my teachers, “God doesn’t work that way.” or “God wouldn’t do that!” or “God would never let that happen.” And I never understood why we had to go to church to be with God. Or why we had to have the church to find God. I even remember a “wise old elder” in the church say, “We are separate from God…and if we work real hard, God may accept us into HIS fold.” I remember being told several times what God was NOT or wouldn’t do.

But, but…what about the part where God says, “I am ALL THINGS” and “ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE” and the whole, “ALPHA and OMEGA – BEGINNING and THE END” part? I remember my little mind being perplexed.

It seemed to me that there was a whole lot that God was supposedly NOT able to do – according to my Sunday School teachers. Because there was such a disconnect with how I envisioned God and what my church was telling me, I think I became numb to it all. I saw no spirit, I saw no joy in going to church at a very young age. Though I played the part and participated up through most of my college years… and a few beyond. By my mid twenties, I lost all interest in going to church.

At 33 years old, I found myself completely lost. I still had a belief in the concept of a Supreme Intelligence, a Master Creator of ALL THINGS, but I had no connection to this, whatever it was, God-thing…other than I was still alive and breathing, so I must be connected in some basic way with it’s energy.

One afternoon, I am guessing the timing on this was somewhere around September of 1997, in a voice filled with frustration, I said out loud, “OK, God, or whatever you are, I want a connection!” I had heard of people having some kind of connection, having experiences that connected them with this “ALL THERE IS” thing that most people call God…but what about me? “I am ready for MY CONNECTION!” I proclaimed!

Several weeks passed by, in fact I had completely forgotten about my proclamation, life was my usual disconnected life. I had made an appointment for a massage with Jason, the husband of one of my dearest friends. My appointment was set for Friday afternoon,  October 17.

When I showed up for my appointment, I told him that I didn’t like to talk during the massage and that I was going to try and meditate. The true story was that I had body issues since I was in my late teens and I felt a bit awkward being naked-ish in front of a good friend. And the funny part is that I had never meditated before in my life up to that point. I simply wanted to be left alone so I could focus upon my body and the massage and not have to suffer through “small talk”.

So when he left the room, I stripped down and got comfortable on the table with the blanket over me.  I started to focus upon the word, ONE. I had read somewhere that if you focus upon a word and focus upon your breath, it will help you meditate. So I took a few deep long breaths and kept repeating, with the voice in my head, one, one, one, one, one… It seemed like quite some time before he entered, so I was quite relaxed by then. I heard him preparing, though my focus was deep within my body. Boy, this stuff works! [From this point on in the story, my thoughts will be italicized. ]

one…one…one…one…one…one…one…

Deeper and deeper I went, though I was still conscious. When his hands finally touched my shoulders, I felt a shift in the energy – something was different. and I noticed the voice in my head was no longer saying, one, instead it was saying, TRUST…TRUST…TRUST…

Each movement of his hands were in rhythm with this new word that began repeating in my head, TRUST…TRUST…TRUST… 

But wait a minute, he is not saying that and I am not saying that…and the voice is still my voice in my head…but WHO is controlling that thought?

I almost lost my focus, thought the words were calming me and I felt warm and safe. The voice that is inside my head, the voice that talks to myself was talking to me, though I was NOT controlling the words!

LET GO…TRUST…EXPERIENCE…

(if you haven’t noticed by now, the words that are italicized and in CAPS are the words that were coming to me, not of my control…and the lower case italicized are MY thoughts)

holy crap! what is going on here! I am not sure I believe in this stuff…

TRUST… LET GO…EXPERIENCE…

So, I did! I am not sure what was going on with me, though I felt safe and I had this “knowing” that I was supposed to trust what was happening, let go and experience it. I then completely let go with full trust.

When I was ready, and it all seemed to be synchronized, Jason moved to my chest. All of a sudden he hit a spot and in my mind’s eye I saw bluish white light and began to hear the words, HEAL…HEAL…HEAL…

Now, here is where it gets good and might seem a bit unbelievable to some of you.  And trust me, it seemed a bit unbelievable to me too – it was hard to wrap my brain around what was happening – but it was happening to me, so I could not deny it!

As Jason hit a particular spot on my chest, I was off the table and thrust into a place that seemed to go on horizontally in all directions. There was a definite floor and ceiling wherever I was. I was not my body though…I was like a cloud version of me, like a fluffy ball of energy. In front of me was a huge scary fear. This was a fear I was holding in that particular place in my chest; for some reason I seemed to know this. This fear was BIG and I felt like running away – and almost did!

EXPERIENCE…MOVE TOWARD THE FEAR…TRUST…

I took a deep breath and moved toward the fear. Let me add a side note here. At the time I could tell you what the fear was; this is something like a dream in the fact that I could not remember exactly what the fear was shortly after the experience, though it was HUMONGOUS! I am pretty sure I figured out that this first fear was THE FEAR OF DEATH. Anyway, back to the story.

I took a deep breath and began to move toward this big scary fear… and when my energy began to enter into this fear, I was able to see inside of it, see if for what it was, which was nothing. Then all of a sudden this GARGANTUAN FEAR evaporated in front of my cloud eyes, it was like a mist that just went away!

And before I knew what was happening, I was pulled upward out of that horizontal plane and into an upwardly spinning spiral of pure love! It felt as if I were in a tornado, though the feeling was complete JOY and HAPPINESS and SAFENESS and LOVE – a form of SPIRITUAL ECSTASY!

Here is the crazy part, at the open end of this spiral was PURE WHITE LIGHT! It was if I were getting to glance into “The OTHER SIDE”! I was in complete AWE! I was getting to see into the OTHER SIDE! And I instinctively knew that it wasn’t my time to go there yet, but I KNEW someday I would, so all was good. I was given the opportunity to look into that beautiful bright white light… and feel the love! I was sobbing tears of happiness!!!

And…BOOM! I was back on the massage table, back in my body with tears rolling down my face and nearly out of breath from breathing so hard!

oh my gosh! what the heck just happened?! and before I could ask too many questions…

TRUST… LET GO… EXPERIENCE…

And Jason kept moving to the next section in my chest. I see the flash of bluish white light, hear the word HEAL, as I am whisked away to that horizontal plane staring down another one of my big ugly fears. This time, though, I know the drill and I know the PAY OFF! I quickly moved my cloud into that fear, and just as it began to mingle with my energy I could see it for what it was and POOF, it was GONE! WHOOSH, I was sucked up into the vortex of love and reveled in the energy once again!

I will do whatever it takes to feel this energy again!

BOOM! Back on the table. This scenario happened several more times as Jason moved around to different parts of my body in which I was holding fears. I do remember that the intensity of the joyous part was always far greater than the size of the fear, though the greater the fear was, the greater the joy was when the fear was finally released.

The amazing thing to me is that Jason’s movement, the music playing in the background, the involuntary sayings and the experiences were all synchronized and melodic like a beautiful orchestra. Was Jason aware of what was going on? What did he think of me crying and sobbing on his massage table? I don’t know and didn’t care! This was the most moving experience of my life!!!

When we were done, I asked him if he knew what was happening to me or if he know that he was orchestrating this symphony within me…and he didn’t. He said he has seen some odd things happen during massages and he just continues on and lets the person experience or release what they need. He then asked me what it was that I experienced. I told him that I would sit down with him later, but “…for some reason, I need to leave now.”

I felt as if I was still in a cloud of energy, as if I was being guided. I got into my car and quickly realized that my driving was somewhat involuntary, just like my inner voice was…I was being guided to drive somewhere. So, I held onto the wheel and became a silent observer. I watched as I drove this way, then turned here, almost like my body was on auto pilot – I was even observing the speed limit, which rarely happened. Before I realized it, I was driving down a street and pulled directly into a head-in parking spot in front of a book store.

I need to go in there.

I got out of my car and as I touched the handle of the book store door…

oh, there is a book in here and I will know it when I see it.

At this point, I was very interested in where this journey was leading me…and I had stopped asking questions a while back. Amazed? Yes. Remember from my upbringing, we DEFINITELY did NOT believe is THIS SORT OF THING! But I could not deny, this was HAPPENING TO ME!

I walked through the store as if I knew exactly where I was going. Through the isles of book shelves I walked. I ended up in front of a book shelf.

Ah, the book is on this shelf…and I will know it when I see it.

At that point, I remember my logical brain taking over. I took my eyes to the top shelf and started at the left and moved to the right.

not on that shelf.

I then dropped my vision down to the second from top shelf and scanned it from left to right.

not on that shelf.

Then I dropped down to the third from top shelf and there right directly in front of me was a book that seemed to be glowing. Yes folks, glowing! Again, I stopped asking questions.

Let me preface this next part by saying that I had never heard of this book prior to seeing it that day on the shelf.

I leaned over and picked up the very last copy of the glowing book and read the title. Conversations With God – An uncommon dialog. Book 1. As I turned over the book, it was written as God talking, in first person, just like in the Bible. The voice in my head, the one that still sounded like my usual voice in my head, began to speak the words as if that voice had written them. My eyes flooded with tears, I could barely make my way through the inscription.

As I turned to head to the register, one of the bookstore staff members saw the book in my hand and said, “Oh, you’re gonna like that book!”

Oh, you have NO IDEA! 

I sat at a coffee shop across the street and began reading the book, feverishly! I had a pen and began to underline and circle all of the important parts, until I realized that I had marked every sentence for several pages…then I gave up the pen. This book was basically covering everything I had just LEARNED and EXPERIENCED on that massage table! It talked about FEAR and LOVE… then it went on to explain a version of God that I had always hoped in my heart was how God was. My heart leaped with JOY! The funny part is that it didn’t negate anything I believed from my church days, it only expanded upon those ideas. It took the limits off of GOD and what GOD is. In my upbringing, it seemed that GOD had to fit in this box, and if you didn’t believe in the box – you were wrong.

This book opened me up and expanded my life in so many ways! And I am not sure that I would have ever read this book if I hadn’t found it in the manner in which I found it. And even if I would have been given this book and read it, without this awakening experience, I would have never read it with as much an open mind as I had.

This is how I, as a child, had always envisioned God…until I was told differently. As I grew, this is basically how I wished God would be, how God would work, how this universe works. This book basically helped me know that I wasn’t crazy all of those years when I questioned what I was being taught. It all made sense…again!

I will go ahead and tell you this last part of the Great Awakening Experience, you probably already think I am crazy, I might as well put some frosting on the top!

That first evening when I was sitting down with a notepad and reading the book, I came across the word REINCARNATION. 

Hold up! Stop! I don’t believe in reincarnat… and I stopped myself in mid thought. I stopped my auto-response. I said to myself, LET GO… TRUST…

As soon as I began to think those words, it was if a bolt of electricity came through the top of my head and went through my body. In my mind I was seeing floor after floor filled with books, books of knowledge, being downloaded (for the lack of a better word) one after the other into my body. I was grasping bits of knowledge and my brain was trying hold onto it.

LET IT GO…TRUST…IT IS ALWAYS WITH YOU…

And so I did, I completely let go and allowed this to happen. It seemed to last minutes. Hundreds of floors, filled with thousands and thousands of books, each being given to me. If one of my roommates at the time would have walked in on me, I am sure it would have looked like I was having a seizure or a stroke.

As soon as it was over, I instantly KNEW that reincarnation was a truth. It made perfect sense to me. We are energy and energy never dies, it only takes on new forms. The energy that is me, existed before I was born into this world and will exist when I leave. Why wouldn’t we have more than one life to work through things. Think of how sad it would be if your only shot at life had been a child who died at birth, or as a toddler or a teenager. Why couldn’t we have multiple lives to work through all that we can work through. Our Western culture is one of the few that don’t believe in reincarnation. Reincarnation makes perfect sense to me. Why would we put limits upon that which is ALL THINGS. Why would we say that certain things are NOT POSSIBLE?

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

THE ALPHA, THE OMEGA, THE BEGINNING, THE END.

One of the greatest lessons I have taken from this experience is the releasing of fears. Facing your fears, seeing them truly for what they are (which is basically a false expectation of an event that hasn’t come true yet) and letting them go to experience the love and joy that was being held within that fear…

This is why I speak so much about Letting Go… Our fears are here to teach us greater parts of ourselves…and that greater part of yourself is LOVE.

There are two main energies here on this planet: Love & Fear.

Love can be described as light. Fear can be described as darkness.

Darkness is non-existent in the presence of light. Fear is non-existent in the presence of LOVE.

Love exists in the PRESENT MOMENT OF NOW. Fear exists in the future.

When you live in the present moment of now, you will not experience the power of fear. Your mind must be focused upon a future expectation. The word “future” is a big clue that it isn’t something in the now.

Fear is just a shadow. It seems big and scary, but in reality it is only a shadow, created by the light. Fear is another form of light, the other side of light. It is also love. Fears help us experience greater amounts of love…we only have to face them, bring them into the light in order to see them for what they are. Thank them for bringing this love to you, then they lose all of their power. You can then release them if they are no longer necessary in your life.

I have a series of videos you can watch on this subject. Visit JimmyTV- The Art of Letting Go.

In another post, I will map out my vision of “What God is to me…” I think it is rather interesting. I even think that someone who calls him/herself an atheist might be able to accept this explanation of this thing that is the composition of ALL THINGS.

Until then, thanks for reading!

peace.

love, Jimmy

2 Comments

Filed under Jimmy's Spiritual Journey